In this blog post, I provide answers to The Proust Questionnaire. A generalized questionnaire curated by Marcel Proust that is known to show the true characteristics of an individual when all questions are honestly answered. Here are the truth teas I'll spill by answering the questions myself: 1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? My idea of perfect happiness is being able to live without constant worry. My struggle with anxiety makes it almost impossible to live without worry but I like to find pleasure and happiness in simple, little things in-between those anxious feelings of negative anticipation- like someone remembering something about yourself that you told them a long time ago. Small things like that bring me perfect happiness when it’s not so easy to achieve.
2. What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear is what I don’t know. I’m afraid of missing information and the feeling of “how can I ever know anything is truthful?” or “how can I know someone is telling me the truth if it can’t be proven with facts or visuals?” It sounds very unnecessarily deep when I put it that way but to put it in simpler terms the possibility of being lied to or important details being left out is what I fear. 3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? A trait that I deplore in myself is definitely how easily I let my insecurities bring me down or change my mindset. Whether it be insecurities with my personality, my physical appearance, my family life, in my relationship, etc. God bless my boyfriend or anyone I ever encounter in life ever who has to deal with this. 4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? A trait I most deplore in others is a sour attitude. By that I mean someone who tries to appear like they don’t care about anything or anyone, someone who doesn’t care about what they do or say and how it affects others. In some cases this can be positive, like if you’re very self confident and you don’t care what others think...sure! But someone with no sense of respect or courtesy whatsoever is one I don’t admire. 5. Which living person do you most admire? I admire a lot of living people but to narrow it down to one I’d say my dad because all he ever did when I was growing up and continues to do is provide comfort and laughs and he always has/had my best interest at heart especially when he and my mom split when I was four. 6. What is your greatest extravagance? My greatest extravagance is my boyfriend for sure. Most if not all of my expenses go towards Wawa food for him (and me.) 7. What is your current state of mind? My current state of mind? I wish I knew. 8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I think in some cases I think forgiveness is an overrated virtue because in the end you tend to get walked all over and fall back into old unhealthy habits. 9. On what occasion do you lie? An occasion I would lie would only be to avoid having to deal with something or someone that’s difficult and would involve uncomfortable confrontation I wouldn’t like. It’s kind of a toxic trait, I don’t do it frequently but most often with parents. 10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? What I most dislike about my appearance is my skin. My skin has never been good as far as blemishes, acne, blackheads, etc. and on top of that I have a bad habit of over analyzing and picking and popping things that result in inflamed scarring and red marks that stay for days and days on end. I constantly feel the need to cover it with makeup or not make direct eye contact when I speak because I feel as though it’s a flaw people focus on and is easiest to point out. Resulting in my self esteem plummeting. 11. Which living person do you most despise? I absolutely despise Donald Trump. A very easily hateable man but definitely with many, many, many, valid reasons to feel that way. 12. What is the quality you most like in a man? A quality I most like in a man is when he isn’t afraid to feel vulnerable and to express emotions that are often frowned upon. Many men feel as though they have to have a masculine and emotionless demeanor all the time because of the pressure from society that men are weak if they feel sad or cry. I admire when a man isn’t afraid to say how he really feels despite the environment or who they’re interacting with. 13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? A quality I most like in a woman is independence. When I see a woman or women who have been through so much whether it be trauma, heartbreak, everyday struggles and they are still able to function without depending on anyone for support while still going about their day with a positive outlook, I’m absolutely enamored. 14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Something I catch myself saying very often is “That’s drawlin’” or “You’re drawlin.’” Which is basically Philadelphia slang for you’re doing too much right now. 15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? The greatest love of my life has to be Ben and Jerry’s I Love Tonight Dough flavor of ice cream. As I’m typing this response right now, I just realized my answers in the beginning of the questionnaire were very reflective, intellectual. Now they’re this. I Love Tonight Dough is the best flavor and Jimmy Fallon is a legend. 16. When and where were you happiest? I think the last time I was at peak happiness was when I was 15 in 2015. I can’t remember anything at that point in my life even remotely inconveniencing me or stressing me out. Only happy memories come to mind. Where I was was just at home, whether it be out and about with friends or family. 17. Which talent would you most like to have? A talent I would most like to have has to be singing. If you consider gaining extreme amounts of self confidence in a short amount of time a talent then I’ll most likely want that one along with singing. 18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? If I could change one thing about myself, I’d change my inherited anxiety. I got it from my dad, and seeing how both he and I struggle in daily life is something I would never wish on anyone, especially having a chance at passing it down to my children. 19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I feel like I haven’t done anything too extravagant to be considered my greatest achievement yet in my life but for now I’ll say graduating high school. There were so many trials and tribulations in high school whether they be school work related or personal that made me want to drop out on numerous occasions. I’m proud of myself for overcoming them and making smart decisions to lead myself out smoothly. 20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? If I were to die, I’d most certainly come back to life as a Sloth. They’re my absolute spirit animal and they have the best life I could imagine- sleeping, being cuddly, eating, no one rushing you to do anything… just breathing and moving at your own pace. They also only have to get up to go to the bathroom only once a week. Imagine the naps you could take. 21. Where would you most like to live? As much as I love my crummy little town of Drexel Hill and it’s terrible roads and slow drivers, I’d enjoy living anywhere else but here. Even if it’s still in Pennsylvania, it just has to be in close proximity of my family and a airport for me to travel to places I wish I could live but probably won’t be able to afford. To give an interesting answer, I’ll say New York City. 22. What is your most treasured possession? My most treasured possession is easily a teddy bear my Opa (Grandfather in German) got me for Valentine’s day when I was younger. He was my favorite person on Earth and he passed away when I was 12, about 6 years ago. I look at it as when I find a significant other, if they don’t treat me with as much love and respect that my Opa did, they’re not worth my time. He was my escape from dark times and always took me out to eat every week, conveniently in times I needed someone the most. Losing him was a very earth shattering thing for me at the time. That’s why something as simple as a stuffed animal from him is so treasured. I even plan to get a picture of it tattooed on my arm. 23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? The lowest depth of misery in my opinion is when someone thinks they’re worth nothing and that their life has no meaning to themselves or anyone else. 24. What is your favorite occupation? My favorite occupation would have to be a therapist. It’s not the most fun or glorious thing in the world but thinking about being able to help someone by simply just giving them a ear to listen and giving input and advice really gives additional purpose to your own life. The thought that someone may even be looking forward to seeing you to get some things off their chest is a comforting and heartwarming feeling. 25. What is your most marked characteristic? My most marked characteristic has to be how organized I am. Everything has to be a certain way and most of the time things work smoother for me because of how organized I am. Even when it comes to overthinking, if I do it in a strategic fashion, it doesn’t always hurt me. It’s when you let thoughts come in an array of jumbled mess that you become fearful and overwhelmed. 26. What do you most value in your friends? I most value in my friends their ability to cheer me up and make me laugh. They have a strange inbetween where they either don’t know what to say at all or they know the exact words I needed to hear. I admire how versatile they can be with that, either way it’s funny or you can sense how much they care for you in their tone. 27. Who are your favorite writers? I don’t read enough to even think of a writer period let alone a favorite one. Oops. 28. Who is your hero of fiction? My hero of fiction is 100% Bucky Barnes from the Captain America comics and/or movies. He gave his life for his loyalty and even though it came back to bite him in the ass, he got through it as strong as ever even with low self esteem and more obstacles thrown his way. His strength, physical and mental, although it’s fictional, is what I always hope I’ll achieve one day. Which makes him my hero. 29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? I most identify with George Washington Carver. He, among other inventors, made peanut butter the household necessity that it is today. Peanut butter is very important, therefore I appreciate him and identify with his passion for it. 30. Who are your heroes in real life? My hero in real life could easily be any of my primary family members- Mom, Dad, Stepmom, etc, I have reasons for all. The first person that comes to mind though is my Nanan (Grandmother). She beat cancer’s ass and every single odd you can think of was against her but she still smiled when her grandbabies and children visited her and never let a terrible illness make her lose touch of her true self even when it was so physically hard for her. I’ve never heard of a woman on her deathbed still laughing and talking about farts. She wasn’t discouraged by the thought of death or how many days she had left as long as she was around who she loved. She made it through it and is now in almost perfect condition and back to normal life. She’s everything you could describe a hero is in my eyes. 31. What are your favorite names? I love the name Sebastian. Another one I always loved even since I was young was Gabriella. They both just have a smooth and beautiful ring to them. 32. What is it that you most dislike? I dislike a lot of things. When I say a lot I mean a lot. This answer can only be so long so I’ll say Tomatoes. It’s the worst fruit, or vegetable, or whatever it is. It ruins everything. Get that shit away from me. 33. What is your greatest regret? My biggest regret has to be not trying hard enough to seek help when I needed it when things were pretty low. I have a habit of pushing people away and shutting down all thoughts and feelings I have rather than being vocal about them to people who are willing to listen and help. I just don’t enjoy telling people my problems if I feel like they won’t understand or take it seriously. If I had put more effort into finding a new therapist or a better coping mechanism, I feel as though I could’ve avoided a lot of trying times. 34. How would you like to die? Wrapped in chanel inside my coffin. 35. What is your motto? My motto is “Everyday patches the night up.” It’s a lyric from the song “Nights” by Frank Ocean. I interpret it as, when a new day starts, you have an open opportunity to make it better than the day or night before. Nights can be really hard because it’s when your mind is most free to wonder and most capable of hurting you because you’re vulnerable. A new day provides new thoughts- better ones, and new distractions to cancel out the ones from before.
3 Comments
Layla
9/11/2018 09:44:09 am
I love how detailed all of your answers were. And I looooove Frank Ocean
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Matt Guglielmi
9/11/2018 09:44:44 am
Hey Taylor, I really agree with this a lot. I also cannot stand when people try to act like nothing bothers them or that they don't care about anything. Great job!
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Qaadir
9/14/2018 08:32:25 pm
I think as far as motto's go you picked a good one in Frank Ocean's phrase from Nights. A good song with deep meaning depending on how its interpreted. You wanna be a sloth though? Now see, that might be kinda drawn'.
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AuthorHi! I'm Taylor Kriebel, a current student at Delaware County Community College. You're currently reading my blog assignments from my English Composition I class. Enjoy! Archives
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